


Fruit in the Shade

by cerame



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Being Lost, Crack, Fruit, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), brotherly bickering, get rekt fuckboi, hero's shade - Freeform, it's the fruit man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerame/pseuds/cerame
Summary: There were many facts in the world. The sky was usually some shade of blue, oxygen was breathable, the golden goddesses created the world and the life in it, the triforce existed, Hylia often failed to give a fuck about her chosen heroes’ states of mind, and Hyrule was a country ruled by the family with the blood of the goddess reborn.Another fact was that the Hero of the Sky and the Hero of Warriors were completely and utterly lost.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 117





	Fruit in the Shade

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of this whole thing is courtesy of Owl from the discord server.

There were many facts in the world. The sky was usually some shade of blue, oxygen was breathable, the golden goddesses created the world and the life in it, the triforce existed, Hylia often failed to give a fuck about her chosen heroes’ states of mind, and Hyrule was a country ruled by the family with the blood of the goddess reborn.

Another fact was that the Hero of the Sky and the Hero of Warriors were completely and utterly lost.

“Let’s recap,” Warriors said for the third time in the last four hours they had been here. “We got separated from the others during a world switch, and we’re in the Lost Woods. The others have their own stories of their Lost Woods, but there’s no music--”

“No breeze, so embers and mist don’t work,” Sky sighed with the dread of a man who was being roped into the same conversation yet again.

“No tree branches or path for us to follow--”

“The forest isn’t answering us when we ask it for help--”

“No poes to follow--”

“I’m hungry.”

“No skull kid--wait, what?”

Warriors stopped in his tracks and looked over to his companion, who had given up and was sitting on the ground. Sky leaned back against the tree behind him and bumped his head lightly against the bark.

“That was half an excuse to get you to stop pacing,” Sky admitted, “but I _am_ hungry. And tired.”

Warriors looked down at the ground and winced at the dirt trail he had left from all his pacing.

“That’s all the more reason to get out of here,” he insisted. “Wild has, like, all of our food.”

“Why was that a good idea again?” Sky questioned, closing his eyes.

“Because he has infinite storage space?”

“Oh, right.”

“Are you… are you trying to nap?”

“I would if you’d stop talking,” Sky said.

“What did I do in a past life to deserve this salt?” Warriors lamented.

“It was this life, hun, and I’ve got a list,” Sky snarked.

Warriors winced. Sky only ever got snarky when pushed, so when he patted the ground next to him, Warriors sat down and joined him.

But… pent up energy refused to be ignored, so he bounced his foot. The silence screamed in his ears. There wasn’t even a breeze to rustle the leaves of the forest, and the mists obscured anything that was more than ten feet away, so who knew what was out there? Warriors set his chin in one hand. The other hand rested on his knee, fingers drumming restlessly.

He just had to wait. Sky would have his nap, and then he’d wake up with a fresh new idea. Every Lost Woods had its trick. They just needed to figure it out. The others figured out their respective Hyrule’s tricks, so why couldn’t Warriors and Sky? Sky had been through dungeons and knew their gimmicks, and Warriors had his tactical mind. Combined, they could be an unstoppable force. No Lost Woods could beat them!

With renewed vigor, Warriors jumped to his feet, ignoring Sky’s grumbles, and cupped his hands around his mouth.

The bushes rustled.

Warriors jumped, spinning to face the direction of the noise. The rustle of cloth and metal behind him told him that Sky had gotten to his feet. It was silent for a few seconds, long enough for the two to let down their guard.

“It might have just been a rabbit or something,” Sky said quietly.

“You know what a rabbit is?” Warriors asked with a frown. “Aren’t you from the sky?”

“Yes, but L--”

A clank of metal against dirt cut him off, and the two heroes spun toward the sound. There was another clank, then another, and out of the mists came a large, hulking figure. Armor that might have once gleamed in the sunlight had rusted over, and vines and moss grew over it and out of every hole it could. From under a three-pronged helmet, a single glow of terrifying crimson gleamed from the empty eye socket of a grinning face of old, ancient bone. On its back was an old sword and shield, and in one hand sat an old, polished, wooden tray.

This was the biggest, most terrifying, and most well-armed Stalfos they had ever laid eyes on.

Then, a low, rattling voice echoed from the figure.

“Would you like some sliced fruits?”

Warriors and Sky screamed. The hero of warriors jumped into the arms of the hero of the sky, who instinctively caught him bridal style.

“Run!” Warriors screamed. No, it was not that high-pitched Sky, shut up.

“I don’t like running!”

“RUN!”

“OK, DON’T YELL AT ME!”

Sky turned on his heel and did as he was told. However, because he was Sky, he made a glorious sprint of about ten feet before collapsing and dropping them both into the dirt.

“My hair!” Warriors lamented.

“We’re gonna die,” Sky gasped, “and you’re worried--about your hair?!”

“I don’t have to outrun the stalfos,” Warriors decided, getting to his feet. “I just have to outrun you.”

“Don’t you dare,” Sky grumbled, grabbing Warriors’s ankle just as he began to run. This resulted in him faceplanting into the dirt. Warriors screeched again.

“Don’t run,” came the rattling voice of the stalfos again. “Have some fruit.”

Warriors turned from his position, sprawled out on the ground, to make eye contact with Sky. Sky had that look in his eyes, and Warriors gasped melodramatically.

“Don’t you do it,” he hissed as the stalfos drew closer.

“But--”

“Sky, if you do this, I will never forgive you--”

“Fuck you. You were going to sacrifice me.”

“Sky--”

The stalfos knelt next to them and held out the tray.

“Fruit?” it asked.

“Sky, don’t you dare--”

“Ok,” Sky said to the stalfos.

“No!” Warriors cried as Sky let go of his ankle to grab a slice of apple. “My own brother! Betraying me like this! For fruit!”

Sky waited until Warriors was done being dramatic to make eye contact with him, then bit into the apple, the crisp crunch echoing through the quiet forest.

“NOOOOO--”

“Fruit?”

“I… you know what? Fine.”

Warriors took a piece of golden yellow fruit and bit into it, glaring at the unrepentant Sky. The glare didn’t last long, though, as the tangy sweet juice flooded his mouth. His eyes widened as he approached nirvana.

“What is this?” he whispered to the stalfos, starry-eyed.

“Mango,” the stalfos said.

“I love you,” Warriors replied.

“Thank you,” the stalfos said.

“So who are you?” Sky asked, taking a lighter yellow fruit from the tray. “Why do you have fruit?”

“I am the Hero’s Shade,” the stalfos answered, “and I have adopted you a long time ago. Also, why not?”

“Fair enough,” Sky shrugged.

“The Hero’s Shade?” Warriors asked.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to explain that at all, or…?”

“...No.”

“Why not?"

“Because it’s none of your business, ma boi.”

“Fair enough,” Warriors shrugged, taking another slice of mango. “Why did you say you adopted us?”

“Because I am your father now.”

“But--”

“Warriors?” Sky piped.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and eat the Hylia-damned fruit.”

Warriors grumbled around his fruit.

The shade joined them on the ground, and at some point, it had gotten a pot of tea and ceramic tea cups, cracked around the edges and worn down by the years but still very functional. Neither hero was sure when or where, exactly, it had gotten the tea, but they weren’t going to question it. Food was food, and every Link was weak for it.

“Why are you here?” Sky asked.

“To pass on my skills to the next hero,” the shade said.

“Neat,” Sky said.

“And to make sure you boys had your vitamin C.”

“Thank you for your service,” Warriors said. Sky nodded in sage agreement, then sipped his tea. “You know, you look kinda familiar.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But--”

“I am your father, do not question me.”

Warriors pouted but sipped his tea. He wasn’t going to be the one to argue with a big, well-armed stalfos, even if the stalfos claimed to have adopted them. Pfft, as if it could actually. It’s not like he had adoption papers or anything…

Right?

Oh, goddesses. What if he did?

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Warriors wasn’t going to think about that. There’s no way he got legally adopted by a skeleton man with fruit and tea.

“Are you going to lead us out?” Sky asked.

“No,” the Shade said. “That duty is not mine to fulfill anymore.”

“Ok,” the heroes said, having no idea what that meant.

Then, the Shade stood up, and the tea disappeared.

“Aw, I wasn’t done with that,” Warriors complained. Rude.

“A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage,” it said instead of actually answering him.

The red light went out briefly--wait, was that supposed to be a wink?

The Shade looked at Warriors, then Sky. He put on a pair of glasses, the lenses tinted incredibly dark, and turned his back on them. He looked over his shoulder at the two boys and raised two fingers in a peace sign as the mist enveloped him, and he disappeared.

“He was a nice man,” Sky said airily.

“...We just had fruit and tea with a stalfos,” Warriors said quietly.

Sky only nodded. He then laid back down in the dirt and wrapped his sailcloth around himself like a blanket. Ha. What a child.

“Night night,” he said.

“I still blame you for getting dirt all over me and ruining my hair,” Warriors said, folding his arms over his chest.

“Get rekt, fuckboi.”

Warriors grumbled under his breath, but quite frankly, after the shade’s whole thing, he felt kind of tired, too. Not enough to nap, though. He wasn’t a toddler or anything. Who takes midday naps, anyway? Kids and old people, that’s who. And Sky. Because Sky was a child. Yeah. Totally.

Warriors laid down in the dirt, bunching his scarf up under his head like a pillow. He wasn’t going to nap, of course. They were only out here for a few hours so far, anyway. It was still day. Most likely. He couldn’t really tell with the canopy and mists, but he could still see, so he was pretty sure it was daytime.

Now… how could they get out of the woods?

“Wars! Sky!”

Warriors jolted, stumbling to his feet. His eyes felt crusty. He quickly rubbed at them. He hadn’t fallen asleep. Nope. Not him.

Sky grumbled next to him, and Warriors spared a glance back at him. Oops. Sky was going to get revenge on someone soon.

Out of the mist stumbled Wild and Time, led by Wolfie.

“Oh, thank the goddess! We found you!” Wild cheered. “It took forever to gather everyone, geez. Being dumped in the Lost Woods sucks.”

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Time asked.

“Someone _will_ be hurt soon,” Sky muttered under his breath, just barely loud enough for Warriors to hear it. Warriors just plastered on a grin and pretended like he didn't hear that. It was safer for him that way.

“Nope,” he said. “We met a stalfos who gave us fruit and tea, though.”

“Bullshit,” Wild said, narrowing his eyes.

“Out of everything we’ve experienced, you’re calling bullshit on the fruit man?” Sky questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Good point,” Wild admitted. He rubbed Wolfie’s head. “Come on. Let’s meet back up with the others.”

“Ah, I’ve suddenly got a craving for some fruit,” Time sighed. “Wild, do you have any I can slice up when we get back to camp?”

“Yeah, a lot,” Wild laughed. “Apples, durians, palm fruit, hydromelons, voltfruit, bananas…”

Sky and Warriors looked at each other with wide eyes, the pieces clicking together. No way. No fucking way. Fruit? This happened because _fruit_?

“What are you guys looking at?” Wild asked, snapping them out of their realization.

“Nothing,” Warriors said, maybe a little too quickly. Sky nodded in agreement. Wild gave them a weird look until Wolfie bit the hem of his shirt and lightly tugged them away.

Warriors had no idea if Time’s small smile was on purpose.

\---

During second watch, everyone was asleep except for the Hero of the Sky. It was quiet, save for a gentle breeze that softly rustled the bushes and grass around them. By the light of the small campfire, a bystander would be able to see the flames reflecting against a wide, feral grin and vengeful, stormy blue eyes, as well as a pot and a pan stolen from the bags of the Hero of the Wild.

With gleeful abandon, Sky stood up and slammed the cookware together, the clash ringing through the night and disturbing both the heroes and the local wildlife.

“I DIDN’T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y’ALL, Y’ALL NOT GON’ GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME!”

The heroes screamed.


End file.
